Thursday, September 30, 2010

Being Real or Perfection?


I've had a difficult last several weeks.

Then this morning I stumbled upon this post.

Sigh . . .

I stink at being 'real'.  I mean - I'm not 'fake', what you see/read is what you get.  But really 'real' stinks.  For the first 30 years of my life I managed 'real' by icing down and sucking up anything that hurt.  Let it go/don't allow it to impact you and it won't exist and off you go.  (While half of this is genetic, the other half is my own twisted take on the first half.)

Long about 30 I started experimenting with feelings.  Boldly going where I had not gone before.  Acknowledging I was feeling something, figuring out what it was called, and then graduating to figuring out what to do with it.  No easy task, these buggers are the pits.  Twists, turns, rarely a clear target, and they tend to travel together in mixed groups of yick.

I still stink at this.  Striking the balance between being honest about whatever is going on and trying to look at it through a biblical worldview is still a challenge.  My faith says to hand it over to Christ.  If I was really doing that, would it continue to hurt?  Seemingly no.  I wonder if this is all a lesson in obedience?

Gibberish is probably up next so I'm going to stop.  Being real is one thing, but is there anything much edifying about gibberish?


I don't think so.


Point to all this?


Probably not.


Just being 'real' - if only a little.

4 comments:

  1. WOW!! Thank you so much for sharing this. I have struggled with this on and off for a long time.

    Its so nice to know Im not alone..

    Cheers to being real!!

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  2. I know you're talking about more than blogging, but I find this hardest to deal with (in myself) in blogging.

    Not wanting to "air dirty laundry" or focus on the negative, nor to pretend that everything is PERFECT. Yah?

    And as a Christian, to be honest with myself and others, without being too caught up in how I feel about everything.

    Keep thinking about it and sharing your thoughts, because we're all in this together.

    Julie

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  3. I find myself having the opposite problem. I have always been overemotional, sharing too much, and just too much! i sometimes wish I could switch off the "real" and operate in some sort of emotion free bubble to get through the day! Maybe the grass isn't greener? I only say this to make a simple point. We will never be what God didn't intend, and don't let one blog post make you so introspective as to question your own "reality". :)
    Hugs and God Bless!
    shellie

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Please . . . Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Eph 4:29